Vice (revised)

February 18, 2010

“Name?” asked the demon with the clipboard.

“Robert Louis White,” the man responded, running a hand through his thinning hair.

“All right, Mr. White, my name is Minos, and I’m here to review your records and see that you are properly placed.”

“In heaven,” White said.

“Perhaps,” the demon said politely.

Mr. White nodded. “Let’s get this mess sorted out, then, so I can get out of here.”

Minos cleared his throat and adjusted the pair of reading glasses that sat on the end of his pointed red nose. “ I see you’re guilty of lusting after your secretary?”

“What?” White yelped. “Well, maybe, but I never touched her!”

The demon made a note. “Gluttony then; you were 200 pounds overweight.”

“I had a glandular problem!”

Another note. “You never donated to charity and died a millionaire?”

“I wanted my children well looked after.”

“Had a pretty fierce temper though?” the demon asked.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child,” White said, loosening the collar of his shirt.

“Of course. And you never attended church, I see?”

“Faith is a private matter, I thought.”

The demon smiled, sharp incisors gleaming. “You were a banker? Made a lot of money from predatory lending?”

Mr. White wiped sweat off his forehead. “Not my fault if it turned out badly.”

The demon made a final mark on the clipboard. “Everything seems to be in order.”

“I can go, then?” White asked. “To heaven?”

“I’m afraid not.” Minos wrapped his tail around his leathery body eight times. “Eighth circle. The fraudulent. You really are an incorrigible liar.”

Advertisements

One Response to “Vice (revised)”


  1. 0.0 Didn't know fraud knocked you down to 8! I should prolly read the Divine Comedy sometime…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: